It's a Baby, Andy Russell Page 2

  “Yes,” Aunt Janet agreed. “Andy can sweep and mop. He needs practice doing that. He should learn how to handle mops and brooms. Rachel, please do the dishes. Tamika and I will go upstairs. We’ll clean the bedrooms and bathrooms.”

  “Don’t clean the bathrooms,” Andy said. “They’re already clean.”

  “Oh, no. The bathrooms may look clean but that’s where germs hide,” Aunt Janet said. “But they can’t hide from me. And I want Tamika to help me, so I can get to know her.”

  Aunt Janet took two bottles of cleaning liquid from her bag and went upstairs with Tamika.

  Andy put up his hands and told Rachel, “Sorry. I should have washed the dishes better. But I didn’t think anyone would notice.”

  He took the mop.

  “Didn’t you think we’d notice when we took out the dishes and set the table?” Rachel asked.

  Andy hadn’t thought of that.

  “And why didn’t you want Aunt Janet to clean the bathrooms? Did you hide dirty plates there, too?”

  “No,” Andy answered. “I cleaned there and I did a good job.”

  All of a sudden, he dropped the mop. “Oh no! But I put up signs. I thought they were funny, but now I don’t think Aunt Janet will like them.”

  “What signs?”

  Andy started to sweep. “I put a NO SWIMMING sign over the toilet,” he said.

  Rachel laughed.

  “LIFEGUARD ON DUTY,” Andy continued. “I put that sign over the bathtub. And a SMILE! WE’RE WATCHING YOU ON HIDDEN CAMERAS sign on the mirror.”

  “Just wait until Aunt Janet sees them,” Rachel said. She laughed. “Hey, I’m not mad anymore about the dirty plates. You’ll get in enough trouble for the signs.”

  Andy swept the kitchen floor. He was about to sweep the dirt into the pantry and close the door, but stopped. She’ll know, Andy thought as he took out the dustpan. Aunt Janet has radar—dirt radar.

  Andy wanted to do a good job of mopping the floor. He made the mop real wet and mopped from the door, around Rachel’s feet, under the table, and to the other end of the kitchen. There were just two dry spots left, one around Rachel and one around Andy.

  “Now look at what you did!” Rachel hollered. “You’ve mopped me into a corner. If I walk across the floor, my shoes will make dirty prints. And if I take off my shoes, my socks will get wet. Now I have to wait here for the floor to dry.”

  “I’m stuck, too,” Andy said. “I’m not making dirty prints with Aunt Janet around.”

  He stood there, surrounded by wet floor, and watched Rachel clean the dishes.

  “We finished the bedrooms,” Aunt Janet announced as she walked into the kitchen. “We’ll clean the bathrooms later.” She stopped, looked at the very wet floor and then at Andy. He was still holding the mop. “What happened here?” she asked him. “Why is the floor so wet?”

  “I cleaned it,” Andy answered proudly.

  “Oh,” Aunt Janet said. “And you kept squeezing the dirty water out of the mop. Right? Of course that’s right. You didn’t mop the floor with dirty water.”

  “I didn’t?” Andy asked.

  But, of course, he did.

  I used plenty of water but that’s not good enough for Aunt Janet, Andy thought.

  “Well, I can’t wait for the floor to dry,” Aunt Janet said. “It’s time to prepare dinner.”

  She walked quickly into the kitchen and slipped on the wet floor. She grabbed the refrigerator door handle as she fell, but the door opened and Aunt Janet landed on her bottom! Tamika, Andy, and Rachel rushed over and helped her up.

  Andy quickly covered his mouth. He was about to laugh. Rachel looked at Andy. She was about to laugh, too.

  “Oh, please, get me a chair. I have to sit.” Rachel brought her a chair.

  The seat of Aunt Janet’s skirt was wet. She sighed when she sat down. Then she yelped, “That hurts!”

  What hurts? Andy wondered. Then he remembered what she landed on when she fell and he knew what hurt.

  Aunt Janet squirmed until she was comfortable.

  Rachel put her head down and continued to wash the dishes. She didn’t want to look at Aunt Janet. She knew if she did she would begin to laugh.

  “First I put away dishes without washing them and that was wrong,” Andy mumbled. “Then I wash the floor and that’s wrong, too. The water was dirty and too wet. Now it’s my fault that water is wet! Everything is my fault!”

  “What?” Aunt Janet asked. “I can’t hear you when you mumble.”

  Andy didn’t answer.

  Aunt Janet groaned as she tried to get up. Her eyebrows went up and her lips curled down into her beagle look. She sat down again.

  “I’ll need help preparing dinner,” she said. “Please, move the table here. I’ll make your dinner sitting down.”

  Andy and Tamika moved the kitchen table.

  “Now, please, open the refrigerator and tell me what’s inside.”

  Tamika opened the refrigerator.

  Andy looked inside.

  “Milk,” he called out, “and leftover spaghetti with tomato sauce.”

  “I’ll fry it with bread crumbs,” Aunt Janet said. “Do you have bread crumbs?”

  “No,” Andy answered. “All our bread is the big kind.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad. What else is in the refrigerator?”

  “Orange juice, carrots, leftover chicken soup, margarine, yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs.”

  “Eggs. Good.” Aunt Janet nodded. “Do you have any canned or frozen vegetables?”

  Tamika opened the pantry. “We have cans of corn, string beans, peas, lima beans, and that’s it.”

  “I just had an idea. I know what I’ll make,” Aunt Janet said. “Please, get me a mixing bowl, a large spoon, eggs, milk, string beans, and peas.”

  What in the world is she cooking? Andy wondered.

  “I’m making you a special treat.”

  Rachel brought her the mixing bowl. Andy brought her the milk and eggs. Tamika opened the cans of peas and string beans and brought them to Aunt Janet.

  Aunt Janet cracked the eggs and put them in the bowl. She added the milk and vegetables.

  “What are you doing?” Andy asked. “Eggs, string beans, and peas don’t belong together.”

  “I’m fixing dinner,” Aunt Janet told him. “I’m making a string bean and pea omelette.”

  Andy imagined eggs with green things stuck inside.

  “I don’t think this is right,” he told Aunt Janet. “When the hen laid those eggs, she didn’t want them cooked with string beans and peas.” Aunt Janet looked blankly at Andy.

  Andy spread out his arms—he was about to make an important statement. “A string bean pea omelette is a betrayal of Mrs. Hen,” he said. “I’m sure she had dreams for her little eggs and there were no string beans and peas in those dreams.”

  “I think you’re right that hens dream,” Aunt Janet said. “You could prove it by studying their eyes. You could watch them when they sleep and see if their eyeballs move. But I don’t think you could find out what they dream about.”

  Aunt Janet used the large spoon to mix the eggs and vegetables.

  “I don’t know if hens dream about omelettes,” she said. “But sometimes I do. You know, I dream of creating the perfect omelette, something different, and winning a cooking contest.”

  Just then the telephone rang.

  Rachel picked up the phone.

  “It’s Dad!” Rachel squealed. “It’s Dad!”

  Chapter 4

  The Animals Must Go

  “What’s he saying?” Andy asked Rachel. “Do I have a brother?”

  “Shhh!” Rachel told Andy. “I can’t hear Dad.”

  “Tell Dad I want to talk.”

  Rachel listened for a moment. Then she asked, “What’s taking so long?”

  Rachel listened some more.

  “Really! She said that?” Then Rachel added, “OK, Dad. Good-bye,” and she hung up the telephone.

&n
bsp; “Hey,” Andy protested. “I wanted to talk.”

  “Dad had to go to Mom,” Rachel said. “The baby isn’t born yet. And Mom asked the same thing I did. She said, ‘What’s taking so long?”’

  “Babies are worth the wait,” Aunt Janet said dreamily. “Babies are so cute.”

  “They are?’ Andy asked. “Was I cute?”

  “Oh yes,” Aunt Janet said. “You were so cute.” She stretched her arms out to show Andy just how cute he was. She was still holding the large spoon. Raw egg, string beans, and peas dripped onto the floor.

  Aunt Janet looked down. “Oh my,” she said. “This floor is a mess.”

  “I just cleaned it,” Andy said.

  Yuck! Andy thought. I said, “I just cleaned it. ” That’s something Aunt Janet would say. What’s happening to me!

  Aunt Janet put the spoon on the table, smiled, and asked, “Have you ever seen a newborn baby?”

  “I have,” Rachel answered. “I saw Andy.”

  Tamika said, “I’ve seen lots of babies. Sometimes, when I went to visit my parents in the hos pital, I saw people leaving with babies that were just a few days old.”

  Tamika’s parents were injured in a car accident and while they were in the hospital, she needed a place to stay. First she stayed with the Russells’ neighbors, the Perlmans. Then the Perlmans had to go to South America for a research project. That’s when Tamika moved in with the Russells.

  Tamika’s parents were doing better. They had left the hospital and moved to a rehabilitation center. Tamika hoped she and her parents could go home soon.

  “I’ve seen lots of newborns,” Andy said proudly. “My gerbils have babies all the time—and not just one. They have lots.”

  “Do you still have gerbils in the house?” Aunt Janet asked.

  “I have other animals, too,” Andy told her. “I love animals.”

  “I had a dog once, a collie,” Aunt Janet said. “But my landlord made me give it away. He said it was too big to keep in my small apartment.”

  “Well, my gerbils are small and this house is big, so I’m not giving them away.”

  “I named him Sparky,” Aunt Janet said, “and wow, did he make a mess. My apartment always looked dirty.”

  “Gerbils don’t make a mess,” Andy said.

  “He’s right,” Rachel said. “He keeps all his pets in the basement, and he keeps them in tanks, so there’s no mess.”

  “Slither is not messy and Sylvia is really not messy,” Andy added. “She’s my goldfish and lives in water. It’s like she’s taking a bath over and over again.”

  Aunt Janet said, “Sparky loved it when I gave him a bath. I was so sorry I had to give him away.”

  “Well, I’m not giving my pets away!” Andy said and ran out of the kitchen.

  Tamika followed him out. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Aunt Janet wants me to give away my pets.”

  “She didn’t say that.”

  “Oh, you don’t know her. She’s not your aunt. She’s strange. She dreams about omelettes.”

  Tamika shook her head. “Maybe she is strange, but right now you’re the one who’s acting strange. She was just talking about her dog.”

  “She said she had to get rid of Sparky because he was messy,” Andy said. “Why do you think she said that? She was telling me I’ll have to get rid of my pets, too, because they’re dirty. That’s exactly what she was saying and I won’t do it!”

  Chapter 5

  Friends for Dinner

  “Where did you two go?” Aunt Janet asked when Andy and Tamika returned to the kitchen.

  “Nowhere,” Andy answered.

  “Oh,” Aunt Janet said and continued to mix the eggs, string beans, and peas. “Well, I’m glad you’re back.”

  She looked at her watch. “Oh my,” she said. “Look at the time! I have to finish getting dinner ready.”

  Aunt Janet stirred the eggs some more. When she lifted the spoon, the egg mixture dripped from the spoon into the bowl.

  Yuck! Andy thought. That looks terrible.

  “Please, help me up,” she said. “My whatchamacallit still hurts and I’ve got to get to the stove to make your dinner.”

  Tamika took one of Aunt Janet’s arms. Rachel took the other. They helped her walk to the stove. Then Rachel gave Aunt Janet the margarine and a frying pan.

  Andy watched Aunt Janet pour the mixture of eggs, string beans, and peas into the frying pan. What sort of a person, Andy wondered, wants to chase lovable animals from their homes? Aunt Janet stirred the eggs with the spoon. And what sort of person does such horrible things to food?

  “You know what we should do?” Tamika said. “We should make signs to welcome the baby.”

  “Signs!” Rachel protested. “That’s silly. Babies can’t read.”

  “Well, I think it’s a good idea,” Aunt Janet said as she fried the eggs. “I love signs. We can put pictures of them in the baby’s album. Later, when we take them down, we can put the signs in the album, too.”

  Oh my gosh, Andy thought. Signs! I don’t want Aunt Janet to see my bathroom signs. I want her in a good mood, in a sure-you-can-keep-your-pets mood.

  “I’ve got to go to the bathroom,” Andy announced and started out of the kitchen.

  “Hurry,” Aunt Janet told him. “Dinner is almost ready.”

  Andy stood right outside the kitchen door. I’ve got to get rid of those signs, he thought, then started up the stairs. But I’d better do something to protect the gerbils, Slither, and Sylvia from Aunt Janet. That’s more important. I have to save my animals.

  He hurried back down the stairs and started toward the basement.

  “There you are,” Aunt Janet called out. “Dinner is ready.”

  Dinner is ready! Who wants to eat eggs and string beans? Not me! And how am I going to save Slither and the gerbils? Andy slowly entered the kitchen. He needed a plan.

  He thought about all his gerbils. He had about twenty. I’ll glue feathers on them. I’ll break open a pillow, take out the feathers, and glue them onto Slither and the gerbils. I’ll tell Aunt Janet they’re birds. Everyone likes birds.

  Andy shook his head. No, that was no good. The glue would hurt the gerbils, and birds weren’t long and thin like his snake, Slither.

  I could make the tanks look like television sets, with oaktag and construction paper. I could tell Aunt Janet the sets are on and tuned to an animal program.

  Andy shook his head again. What am I thinking! This isn’t a TV cartoon. It’s real life. And even if she did think it was a TV, she might try to change the channel, Andy thought. Then she’d know.

  “Why are you shaking your head?” Aunt Janet asked. “Why aren’t you eating?”

  Andy looked at Aunt Janet. Then he looked at the yellow and green eggs on the table. That looks terrible. I bet it tastes terrible, too.

  “Please, sit and eat,” Aunt Janet said.

  Andy shook his head. He wasn’t going to eat.

  “I think I’ll enter these in a cooking contest. I’ll call them Janet’s Vege-Eggs,” Aunt Janet said. “You should taste them, Andy.”

  “I don’t want to,” Andy answered.

  “Why not?”

  “You dream of omelettes and I don’t. You think scrambled eggs should have green things in them and I don’t. We’re different people,” Andy told Aunt Janet.

  “Oh my,” Aunt Janet said. “Of course we’re different, but that’s no reason not to eat eggs.”

  “They’re not so bad,” Rachel said. She ate a forkful of green egg to prove it.

  Traitor, Andy thought.

  “Of course they’re not bad,” Aunt Janet said. “They’re very good.”

  “It’s not the eggs,” Andy declared. “I won’t eat something made by someone who is chasing my friends from their home.”

  “What friends?” Aunt Janet asked. “I wasn’t chasing any friends. Tell them to come have dinner with us.”

  “Really?” Andy asked. “Okay, I
’ll tell them to come up.”

  Andy hurried out of the kitchen and down to the basement. He looked at Slither. “You’re so cute,” he said, “but I’m not taking you up to meet Aunt Janet. Some people don't like snakes. I’m taking one of the gerbils.”

  Andy looked in the three gerbil tanks. He wanted to pick the cutest one to show Aunt Janet.

  She won’t want to get rid of my pets, Andy thought, if she sees how cute they are.

  Andy watched the gerbils run through the tunnels and on the exercise wheel. He looked into one of the tanks, and at first he couldn’t decide which one to bring upstairs. They all looked cute to Andy. Then one gerbil stopped playing and looked right back at Andy. Andy wrinkled his nose and the gerbil did, too.

  “You’re cute,” Andy told the gerbil.

  The gerbil had light brown fur and a long tail. It seemed to be smiling at Andy.

  “You’re the one!” Andy told the gerbil. “You’re the one I’ll show Aunt Janet.”

  Andy took the gerbil from the tank. He closed the screen on top of the tank and checked to make sure it was completely closed. He didn’t want any gerbils to get loose while Aunt Janet was in the house.

  “Keep smiling. Be cute and charming,” Andy instructed the gerbil as he went up the basement steps. “I want Aunt Janet to like you.”

  Andy stopped at the entrance to the kitchen.

  “She’ll ask you to try her Vege-Eggs, but you don’t have to,” Andy told the gerbil. “Just be cute.”

  Then he walked in.

  Chapter 6

  Look at the Sweet Animal

  Aunt Janet looked up. She saw Andy walking to the table. Then she saw the gerbil.

  “A mouse!” she screamed. “Oh my goodness! What’s a mouse doing in the kitchen?”

  “It’s a gerbil,” Andy said as he walked closer, “and it’s perfectly harmless.”

  “It has germs. All animals have germs. That’s why we never allow them in the hospital.”

  Andy spoke in what he hoped was a soothing tone. “This gerbil is my friend and it doesn’t have germs.”