It's a Baby, Andy Russell Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Table of Contents

  Illustration

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1 You Have Six Messages

  Chapter 2 It’s Aunt Janet

  Chapter 3 Smile! We’re Watching You

  Chapter 4 The Animals Must Go

  Chapter 5 Friends for Dinner

  Chapter 6 Look at the Sweet Animal

  Chapter 7 Eggs, String Beans, Peas, and Soap

  Chapter 8 What’s Up?

  Chapter 9 I Know! The Garage!

  Chapter 10 Look at Him

  Chapter 11 Worse than Vege-Eggs

  Chapter 12 What Did I Do Now?

  Chapter 13 Egg, String Beans, Peas, and Lint

  Chapter 14 Who’s Talking about High School?

  Read the other books in the Andy Russell series!

  About the Author

  About the Illustrator

  Text copyright © 2005 by David A Adler

  Illustrations copyright © 2005 by Leanne Franson

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.

  www.hmhbooks.com

  First Harcourt paperback edition 2006

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Adler, David A

  It’s a baby, Andy Russell/by David A. Adler; with illustrations by Leanne Franson.

  p. cm.

  Summary: While Andy's parents are at the hospital with a new baby, leaving Andy and his sister at home with their germaphobic aunt, Andy thinks that Aunt Janet wants him to get rid of his pets.

  [1. Aunts—Fiction. 2. Cleanliness—Fiction. 3. Family life—Fiction.]

  I. Title: It’s a baby, Andy Russell. II. Franson, Leanne, ill. III. Title.

  PZ7.A2615It 2005

  [Fic]—dc22 2004014997

  ISBN-13:978-0-15-216742-4 ISBN-10: 0-15-216742-0

  ISBN-13:978-0-15-205610-0 pb ISBN-10: 0-15-205610-6 pb

  eISBN 978-0-544-20147-7

  v1.0513

  To my nephew Matthew

  Chapter 1

  You Have Six Messages

  “Yikes!” Rachel Russell hollered. She turned and called to Andy, “You’re in trouble now. Real trouble. Just wait till Mom sees this mess.”

  Andy Russell, his sister, Rachel, and their friend Tamika Anderson had just come home from school. Rachel was standing by the open front door to the house.

  “Let me see,” Andy said. He hurried up the front walk to the house and looked in.

  The closet door was open. Coats, hats, scarves, gloves, umbrellas, and the morning newspaper were on the floor.

  “I’m not in trouble. I didn’t make this mess and you know it,” Andy said. “I was in school all day. We got on and off the bus together.”

  “Then who did?” Rachel asked.

  How would I know? Andy thought, but that’s not what he said. Instead he joked, “Who did? It was my teacher, Ms. Roman. She found out I was the one who spilled the doughnut holes all over her desk and she’s getting even.”

  “Spilled doughnut holes on her desk,” Tamika said. “That’s funny.”

  Andy bowed.

  “Well, this mess isn’t funny,” Rachel said. “Maybe a raccoon came down the chimney. I’ve heard they do that.”

  Rachel and Tamika cautiously walked in. They quietly put their book bags down, stood by the front door, and looked around.

  Andy wasn’t cautious at all. He walked right past them to the kitchen.

  “Hey,” he called. “Look in here.”

  The breakfast dishes were still on the table. The milk and juice containers were out. Mr. and Mrs. Russell’s cups still had coffee in them.

  “Mom and Dad rushed off,” Rachel said. “Maybe Mom is having the baby and that’s why the house is a mess.”

  “The baby!” Andy shouted. “My brother was born! My brother, Evan, was born!” He threw the newspaper into the air. “Two Russell boys and one Russell girl.” He pointed to Rachel and laughed. “You’re the odd one. It’s a boys’ house now.”

  “Maybe,” Rachel said, “and maybe not. Maybe the baby is a girl.”

  “No it’s not. I mean no he’s not. The doctor said it’s a boy. Mom took that test.”

  “The test might be wrong,” Rachel explained. “We’ll have to wait until the baby is born to be sure. She might be a girl. Then you’ll be the odd one. You’re the odd one, anyway.”

  “I am not odd. I’m just exuberant. Dad said so.”

  Tamika interrupted them. “Let’s look for a note. Your parents must have left a note.”

  “There’s nothing on the counter,” Andy said.

  “And nothing on the refrigerator,” Tamika added.

  “They were probably in too much of a rush to write a note,” Rachel said. “But maybe they called from the hospital and left a message.” She pushed the PLAY button on the answering machine.

  Hello, the machine said. You have six messages. Then the tape began to rewind.

  “This is your first message,” Andy announced. Then he said “Hello” in a pretend baby’s voice. “This is your new brother talking. GET ME OUT OF HERE. GET ME OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL!”

  “You think a baby can talk,” Rachel said. “You probably think the baby will go to school with us and help you with your homework.”

  “Sure he will. We Russell guys are pretty smart.”

  Message one.

  “Hello? Hello? Are you there, Anne? This is Jacob Kamen. Are you in the hospital? If I don’t hear from you soon I’ll get a substitute for your classes.”

  Mrs. Russell was a high school math teacher. Message two.

  “Charles? Charles? This is Bob. Where are you? Please, call and tell me what’s going on.”

  “He’s Dad’s boss,” Rachel told Tamika. Mr. Russell was a carpenter.

  Message three.

  “Carol? Carol? This is Jake. I know you’re there. Please, pick up the telephone.”

  “There’s no Carol here,” Andy told the answering machine. “You have the wrong number.”

  Jake said, “Come on, Carol.”

  “Didn’t you hear me?” Andy asked. “There’s no Carol here.”

  “Poor Jake,” Tamika sighed.

  “And poor Carol,” Rachel added. “I bet she’s waiting for his call.”

  “I’m sorry you feel like that,” Jake said. “Please, call me if you want to talk.”

  Message four.

  “Hello. Rachel, Andy, and Tamika. This is Dad. I’m at the hospital. We’re at the hospital. We didn’t tell you, but last night, Mom felt contractions. And this morning, just after you left for school, they were more intense. The baby is coming. I’m so excited. We’re so excited.”

  “Yes!” Rachel, Andy, and Tamika shouted.

  “We don’t know when, but soon,” Mr. Russell continued. “Real soon. Mom is OK, But I’m not sure I am. I can’t keep still. I have a whole bunch of calls to make now, to Mom’s principal, Mr. Kamen, and to my boss, Bob, and Aunt Janet. She’ll come to help out while Mom is in the hospital. I have to hurry back to Mom. And I have to make those calls. And I have to...I should make a list of everything I have to do. Bye.”

  “Yes, make a list,” Rachel told the answering machine.

  “And go back to Mrs. Russell. She needs you,” Tamika
said.

  “BUT DON’T CALL AUNT JANET!” Andy hollered.

  “Why not? What’s so bad about Aunt Janet?” Tamika asked.

  Message five.

  “Hi. This is Betty. Mr. Kamen just told me why you’re not here. I’m so excited. Good luck.”

  “Aunt Janet is a worrier and a complainer,” Andy said.

  “Andy’s right,” Rachel agreed. “Whenever we do something, she complains we did it wrong.”

  Message six.

  “Hello. This is Aunt Janet.”

  “No,” Andy groaned and put his hands over his ears. “I’m not listening.”

  “It’s ten minutes after three. Doesn’t your school end at three? Wait, I think it’s ten after three, or maybe it’s ten after four. Maybe I forgot to move my watch back when I left the house. I wish we lived in the same time zone. Oh my! It’s ten after four and you’re still not home! Now I’m worried.”

  Rachel leaned forward. “No. It was ten after three when you called,” she told the answering machine. “And we don’t live next door to the school. We take the bus home and that takes time.”

  Andy had taken his hands away from his ears. He got even closer to the machine. “Did you ever hear of a bus?” he asked.

  “I’ll be at your house in half an hour,” Aunt Janet said. “We have to get the house ready for the baby.”

  That was your last message.

  “Did you hear that?” Rachel asked. “We got her worried because she didn’t know the time. Suddenly it’s our fault.”

  Andy said, “Once, she was here when Mom and Dad went on a vacation. I made my bed and she got all upset. ‘With the bed made,’ she said, ‘I don’t know if you made it this morning or if it’s still made from yesterday because you didn’t go to sleep last night. Now I’m so worried. Children need their sleep.’”

  “That’s strange,” Tamika said. “You made your bed!”

  “That’s what I mean. I did something good and Aunt Janet was worried.”

  “She always worries,” Rachel said. “The last time she was here, I was thinking about a history test I was having, so I ate my breakfast real slow. Aunt Janet thought I was sick and took my temperature.”

  “I saw that, so I ate fast,” Andy added, “and she got all worried that I would choke.”

  “And when she worries she gets her beagle look,” Rachel said. “Her eyebrows go up and her lips curl down.”

  “Yeah,” Andy said. “THE BEAGLE!”

  He raised his eyebrows and pouted.

  Rachel said, “When she takes care of us, whatever we do is not good enough. When we wash the dishes, they’re not clean enough. When we straighten our rooms, they’re not neat enough.”

  “She’ll be here soon,” Tamika warned. “Let’s clean up before your Aunt Janet sees this mess and complains.”

  I will erase your messages.

  “Yeah,” Andy said to the answering machine. “And be sure to erase the one from Aunt Janet.”

  Chapter 2

  It’s Aunt Janet

  Rachel emptied the coffee cups and washed them. Andy put away the milk and juice containers. He carried the dirty dishes to the sink.

  “You must be exaggerating about your aunt,” Tamika said.

  “Exaggerating!” Andy cried and waved a dirty dish. “She’s a worrier, a complainer, and I forgot to tell you something else she is. She’s bossy. She’s got a sign in the bathroom of her apartment that says, ‘Flush and check. If you must, flush again.’ Now that’s bossy and gross.”

  Rachel dialed the telephone. “You’ve got to hear this,” she told Tamika. Rachel pressed the speaker button.

  This is Janet Russell. I’m a nurse. If this is a medical emergency you should call a doctor or a hospital. And I hope you feel better. Oh, and if you want to leave a message, wait for the beep. Then be brief and speak clearly and please don’t mumble. Bye.

  “Call a doctor! Don’t mumble!” Rachel said. “See how bossy she is?”

  “Well,” Andy announced, “I’m leaving a message.” He grabbed the telephone.

  Beep.

  “Mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble,” Andy said in a squeaky voice. Then he squeaked louder. “MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE.”

  He gave the receiver to Rachel. “I don’t want it,” she said and quickly hung up.

  “Ha!” Andy said. “I mumbled to Aunt Janet.”

  “So what,” Rachel said. “You disguised your voice. She won’t even know it’s you.”

  Andy looked at the telephone. Then he looked at Rachel and laughed.

  “What?” Rachel asked. “What’s so funny?”

  “I disguised my voice, but you didn’t disguise yours. When Aunt Janet hears you say ‘I don’t want it’ just before you hung up the phone, she’ll think you’re the mumbler.”

  “Me!” Rachel cried and clenched her fists. “She’d better not think it’s me. If she blames me, I’ll tell her it was you.”

  “Well, I agree with Aunt Janet,” Tamika said. “People shouldn’t mumble when they leave a message.”

  “You agree with Aunt Janet?” Andy asked.

  “Yes. Listen to this. ‘Wabling fasince to arrow. The Sandy.’ Some gravelly voice person once mumbled that message into my answering machine. It was scary.”

  “I don’t mumble,” Andy protested, “and I didn’t say ‘The Sandy.’ I said, ‘This is Andy.’ I wanted to know what I had to bring for science tomorrow, only that tomorrow was last year and I got in trouble because you never called back.”

  “That was you? Why was your voice so gravelly?”

  “I had a cold. You knew I had a cold.”

  “Let’s not argue,” Rachel said. “We’ve got to clean.”

  And they did. Rachel and Tamika wiped the table and swept the floor. Andy stood by the sink, but he wasn’t in the mood to wash dishes. It seems I’m never in a dishwashing mood, he thought.

  When Rachel and Tamika weren’t looking, he put the dirty dishes in the cabinet. He piled a few clean plates on top of the dirty ones so no one, especially Aunt Janet, would notice. He swept everything from the floors under the living room rug. Yesterday’s newspaper was on the coffee table, so Andy hid it under one of the couch pillows. While Rachel checked the bedrooms and Tamika put things away in the front hall, Andy checked the bathrooms.

  The toilets were flushed. The toothpaste was put away. The towels were straight. Something is missing, Andy thought. Signs! Aunt Janet likes signs. He hurried to his room and made signs. Then, just as he finished taping them to the bathroom walls, the doorbell rang.

  Andy, Rachel, and Tamika hurried to the front door. Rachel peeked through the peephole. “It’s Aunt Janet,” Rachel whispered. “Are we ready?”

  “No,” Andy said. “Tell her we’re not home. Tell her we moved. Tell her anything. Just don’t open the door.”

  The doorbell rang again.

  Rachel opened the door.

  Chapter 3

  Smile! We’re Watching You

  Aunt Janet stood in the doorway. Beside her was a large shopping bag with bottles of cleaning liquid, a mop, and a broom. She was looking at her watch.

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  “Three forty-seven,” Rachel answered.

  “Are you sure?” Aunt Janet asked. “Then why does my watch say four fifty-three?”

  “I bet she blames us for that, too,” Andy mumbled.

  “What? What did you say?”

  Tamika spoke loud and clear. “You live in a different time zone. You must have forgotten to set your watch back when you came here.”

  “And maybe it’s running six minutes fast,” Andy offered.

  “Running fast,” Aunt Janet said as she reset her watch. “It shouldn’t be running fast.”

  “Complain, complain,” Andy whispered. “That’s all you do.”

  “What? What did you say?”

  “I’ll take your things,” Andy said real loud.

  He grabbed the bag. T
he mop handle hit his head as he hurried to follow Aunt Janet into the house. The broom fell out of the bag.

  “Here, I’ll take it,” Aunt Janet said as she picked up the broom and put it back in the bag. “You’re not very good with mops and brooms.”

  And you’re not very good with nine-year-old boys who try to help, Andy thought.

  Rachel closed the door.

  Aunt Janet looked directly at Tamika and said, “So you’re Tamika Anderson. I’m really happy to meet you. I’m going to make dinner, and everyone says I’m a creative cook. You’ll see.”

  Then she turned to Andy and said, “And I’m so happy to see you.”

  Aunt Janet leaned close to Andy. “Oh my, your face is dirty. There are germs in dirt. Lots of germs. You should clean your face. It’s important to be clean.”

  “So bossy,” Andy mumbled as he went to the bathroom to wash his face.

  “That’s why I’m here, to get the house clean for the baby. Did you know,” Aunt Janet asked Tamika, “I’m a nurse?”

  “Yes,” Tamika said. “Andy and Rachel told me.”

  “Well, I’m not really a nurse. I’m a nurse’s aide. And I do lots of cleaning.”

  “There,” Andy said. “My face is washed.”

  “Good. Good,” Aunt Janet said. “You know, when your face is dirty, you’re wearing germs. Now, let’s go to the kitchen. When a kitchen is dirty, you’re eating germs.”

  Aunt Janet followed the children into the kitchen.

  “We already cleaned here,” Rachel said proudly. “And we cleaned upstairs, too.”

  Aunt Janet opened the cabinet, lifted the top plates, and took out one Andy had put away. Maple syrup was stuck to it. “There are germs on these plates, sticky germs.”

  How did she do that? Andy wondered. How did she know I hid dirty plates under the clean ones?

  Rachel looked at the plate. Then she glared at Andy and said, “He should clean them.”

  “No, I’ll mop,” Andy said. “That should be fun.”